Claustrophobic

Claustrophobia

I just want to stare blankly
not because I’m alone or because:
anxiety
claustrophobia
anorexia
Piss Off!!!!!!!

I want to sucker punch a dude
who thinks he can make every girl cum.
I want to shove a poem up his ass crack.
I want to write haikus with drug runners
and bring ’em to my basement
make ’em smile
make ’em addicted to something
they won’t have to take piss tests for anymore.

I want to retreat at any given moment
to a whoever/whenever/wherever.
Patiently
we’ll learn to say things to each other.
like, “I want you to help me throw up these pills.”
“I like you a lot, and I want to be empty of the negative
the first time I’m inside you.”

I want the lord to know I am asking for a girl
that lets our legs touch when we smoke cigarettes.
I want to be green
when I say things like
“I really like you and goodnight.”
I want you to feel that,
repost it on your tumblr/your instagram/your blog.

I want all my drug buddies
to be shot up and electrified by words.
I want that kid who thinks he can make every girl cum,
to get knocked up by something
that makes him fat and pregnant,
so he understands that his jizz does more than just
ejaculate self confidence.

I want him writing prayers and poems and haikus to God
that he bleeds real soon
until he is able to hold the hand of every girl
whose ever been in the bathroom of an all night grocery store
pissing on a stick.
That’s what I want my poems to do.
Stare blankly at truths
and not flinch
at the punches.