There were dreams of love notes.
Clown fish colored, Gaza territorial, voltage striking
Love notes. In them
Ancient rain unaware it would some day become
I lay in them for days,
A rad carcass on white satin sheets
All my color into purity.
Outside daisies and daffodils
A Pentecostal moon rising in an Easter sky,
Reminding me not everything is dead.
In the corner sits a nondescript chair
With laugh lines marked at my expense.
Watching the ceiling fan whirl
Like a buzzard circling over the carrion of his murdered prey
And the weapon was simple..
Dreams and more dreams of love notes.
Scented with my failures,
Sealed with the first kiss of my own delusions,
Flowing with the ink of my deepest fantasies.
Words like porcelain molded into a tub
Fit for the tired ache of my own body.
I laid in them,
Closed my eyes and said, "Love poems take me away…"
Birth marked thighs,
Body parts bending and stretching
To fit in this tub with me,
So I can once again touch what I think is love.
The spirits germinating
Into you's, me's, and us'
That are complicated creatures with complex skeletal systems
That are just too big
For love poems.
I realize this as
I grow smaller, shrink, shrivel.
Into a tiny decibel
Drowning in the vast sea of decibels, dreams, and dementia
That truly is a love poem.