Love Notes

Love Notes

For weeks
 There were dreams of love notes.
 Clown fish colored, Gaza territorial, voltage striking
 Love notes.  In them
 Ancient rain unaware it would some day become
 Solid rock.
 

 I lay in them for days,
 A rad carcass on white satin sheets
 Bleeding
 All my color into purity.
 

 Outside daisies and daffodils 
 A Pentecostal moon rising in an Easter sky,
 Reminding me not everything is dead.
 

 In the corner sits a nondescript chair
 With laugh lines marked at my expense.
 

 Watching the ceiling fan whirl
 Like a buzzard circling over the carrion of his murdered prey
 

                                  And the weapon was simple..
                                  Love notes.
 

 Dreams and more dreams of love notes.
 Scented with my failures,
 Sealed with the first kiss of my own delusions,
 Flowing with the ink of my deepest fantasies.
 

 Words like porcelain molded into a tub
 Fit for the tired ache of my own body.
 

 I laid in them,
 Closed my eyes  and said, "Love poems take me away…"
 

 Skinny elbows,
 Birth marked thighs,
 Ripe breasts,
 Body parts bending and stretching
 To fit in this tub with me,
 So I can once again touch what I think is love.
 

 The spirits germinating
 Into you's, me's, and us'
 That are complicated creatures with complex skeletal systems
 That are just too big
 For love poems.
 

 I realize this as 
 I grow smaller, shrink, shrivel.
 Into a tiny decibel
 Drowning in the vast sea of decibels, dreams, and dementia
 That truly is a love poem.